=PolarisAstrum

Ugh, I know I haven't been around and I'm really sorry. This is just to explain why I haven't come here for almost a month now.

My room was finally painted, so I've been busy making sketches for what I want to draw on the walls. Also, I've been making ref sheets like I did for Ninniach for ALL of my characters, which are many, my current work progress on those is 9 out of 14(that is IF I don't decide to add some other chars).

Besides that, my computer needed some repairs due to all those viruses, trojans, etc thingies that invaded it. I said I was using my old pc but after my room was painted, it was turned off and I didn't have time to turn it on so it stayed like that till today, when I finally got around to turn both pcs and am finally using my faster, better but still irritating from time to time pc. Fortunately, they somehow managed to repair this thing without having to lose any files so I'm happy about that ^^

Also, my mum is on vacation now so I'll probably be out for the whole month or so. Next week I might go spend 4 days at the barn like I did last year and then my mother has lots of plans.

Finally, and most importantly, I might not make it to any of the contests I said I was entering. Those are *SilverFlameWanderer, *Aryenne and *kittytiuri's. I'm really sorry guys. Even if I had time to draw something else than plans and ref sheets, I doubt I would be able to use a scanner because I probably will be off for this month. But I promise that, if I get the oportunity, I'll try to do something for one at least(it's impossible for me to enter all). I'm very very very sorry! Maybe next time!

Oh and btw, due to all this, my contest will only end around August. I definitely won't be able to judge anything now, I haven't even commented on the lastest entries. I promise I'll do it asap.

So that's all, I've got to fly now, more work awaits me. Geez, I thought vacation was meant to rest
I luffs you all! And... the stupid mood thingie isn't working...
~Joana

Info to my contest here [link] Please take some time to read it!

Stolen from

I fear...

[] the dark
[] staying single forever (fear it? it's my dream XD)
[] being a parent
[] giving birth
[/] being myself in front of others(depends on who the others are)
[] open spaces
[x] closed spaces(I am claustrophobic)
[x] heights
[] dogs
[] birds
[] fish
[] spiders
[] flowers or other plants

[/] being touched(like Kate said: eh, sometimes)
[] fire
[] deep water
[] snakes
[] silk
[] the ocean
[x] failure
[] success
[] thunder/lightning
[] frogs/toads
[] my boyfriends/girlfriends dad
[] boyfriends/girlfriends mom
[] rats
[] jumping from high places (not fearing this has given me some cute and funny problems )
[] snow

[] rain
[] wind
[] crossing hanging bridges (the hell?)
[] death (I don't fear death, but the way of dying)
[] heaven
[] being robbed (never been until now so I guess it's why I don't fear it)
[x] falling
[x] clowns (I traumatized a clown when I was little because he came to me and I started crying as if he was trying to kill me XD)
[x] dolls (the creepy ones, those that appear in movies, they scare me to death)
[x] large crowds of people
[] men
[] women
[/] having great responsibilities (depends on the responsabilities)
[/] doctors, including dentists (it's not really fear, it's hating having to go to them)
[x] tornadoes (they scare me but they also amaze me, on tv of course o.o)

[x] hurricanes (same as up there)
[x] incurable diseases
[] sharks
[] Friday the 13th
[] ghosts
[] poverty
[] Halloween
[] school
[] trains
[] odd numbers
[] even numbers
[/] being alone (I like being alone but I fear being truly alone)
[x] becoming blind (one of my biggest fears)
[x] becoming deaf
[x] growing up

[x] creepy noises in the night
[x bee stings (I like bees, but I'm allergic, I almost died once because of one)
[x] not accomplishing my dreams/goals
[x] needles (argh, I cry at their sight)
[] blood
[] dinosaurs
[] the welcome mat (oooh fear the welcome mat of DOOM!)
[] high speed
[] throwing up (I just hate it)
[] super secrets (the what?)

GRAND TOTAL: 17 and if you count the /, it's 19.5

I AM going to the dentist today, ugh. It finally seems that my parents decided to get me those braces
Getting the depressing journals out of my sight, me needs some cheering up. Cookies for everyone! *looks at pile of cookies* Well maybe just for me *flies off with cookies*

Meow? :3 I can has cheezburgerz 2?
~Joana

Stuff to do:
(1st star: sketch 2nd: background coloring 3rd: char/s coloring)

Gift Art/Contest Entries/Requests/etc.:
*Bleed for *Bleedv: Have to start all over again.
*Secret gift:
*Entry for *SilverFlameWanderer's contest: (July 15th)
*Entry for *Aryenne's contest: (June/July)
*Entry for *kittytiuri's contest: (31st July)
*5000 page views kiriban prize for *fantasydreamer24:
Personal works:
*"Sinking":
*"... Dreams That Ended":
*"All Blame On Me":
*Canvas Painting of Órfeu, Horizonte and Jaqueta:
*Colored pencil work of Jaqueta, Horizonte and Órfeu:
*Unnamed for now: Will put up soon(when I come up with a tittle o.O)
And way more...

Info to my contest here [link] Please take some time to read it!

...Forget the wrong that I've done Let me leave behind some Reasons to be missed Don't resent me And when you're feeling empty Keep me in your memory Leave out all the rest Leave out all the rest... ~Linkin Park

The perfect song came in perfect timing.
There are plenty of reasons to miss those who passed away recently that were so special to me.
I was in bed last night crying, which is what has been happening everytime I think of Link, Scabbers and/or Muffin, but then I remembered the despair on Link's eyes when she saw me crying. I thought: I don't want her to despair where she is now, I want her to be happy because she deserves it.

When she first arrived I didn't pay much attention to her, my mother had bought her without me wanting another parrot after what happened to Hissi(who ran away for those that don't know yet). But still, she would call for my attention and I ended up getting dragged by her constant happiness. She made me laugh so hard because she made these funny noises and would wander around the house like mad. Also, she loved to destroy things, but I simply could not get mad at her. I have one big hole in my room's wall because of that.

Scabbers and Muffin gained my heart for their curiosity. Really, they were the most curious things ever! They couldn't see anything that they would just go and investigate. It was such a great experience to have pet rats, they make such great companions. They were in a pet store because their owner didn't want them. They were the last ones and I adopted them, first I was only bringing Scabbers but it broke my heart to see his brother looking for him so I brought both. They were inseparable, even though they had their fights, but nothing that couldn't be solved.

I think all these memories my pets give me during their time with me is what keeps me getting more and not giving up after all these disappointments, I've always had tons of pets and I simply cannot live without them, they're my family and they show more understanding to me than any other human I've ever come across, they're my life and I feel lucky and honored to deserve their company.

I will try not to cry and focus on those evil exams I'm having next Wednesday and Friday. I will cheerish their lives and move on.
This way, all my previous pets that I know that still watch for me, won't "despair" too because of my stupidity, I'm way too sensitive for my own good.

And to all of those who showed their support, thank you so much for your kind words, hugs and for being here for me, if it weren't for you, I wouldn't know what to do next. I you!

No more Miss Emotional, though some vent art will do me some good *goes off to draw*
Cya soon! Wish me luck with those ebil time consuming things called examinations!
~Joana

Stuff to do:
(1st star: sketch 2nd: background coloring 3rd: char/s coloring)

Gift Art/Contest Entries/Requests/etc.:
*Bleed for *Bleedv: Have to start all over again.
*Secret gift:
*Entry for *SilverFlameWanderer's contest: (July 15th)
*Entry for *Aryenne's contest: (June/July)
*Entry for *kittytiuri's contest: (31st July)
*5000 page views kiriban prize for *fantasydreamer24:
Personal works:
*"Sinking":
*"... Dreams That Ended":
*"All Blame On Me":
*Canvas Painting of Órfeu, Horizonte and Jaqueta:
*Colored pencil work of Jaqueta, Horizonte and Órfeu:
*Unnamed for now: Will put up soon(when I come up with a tittle o.O)
And way more...

Info to my contest here [link] Please take some time to read it!

Being on vacation means that you'll have some time to let your mind rest from work, to entertain yourself, to enjoy. Well mine just started on Friday and has already proved that it certainly won't be as it's supposed, as I planned, as I wished it were.

I really don't feel like being here but I guess you all deserve to know why I won't be around, not anytime soon anyway.

Last week, another of the horses at the barn had to put down, I had seen him being examined on Saturday of that week and he wouldn't stand up on his own, I think it was colic. After 3 days trying to save him, they decided that it was best to put end to his suffering. Horizonte he was, and he was the reason why the owner of my riding school decided to buy that barn in the 1st place. He was only 18.

On the 1st official day of my "vacation"(that is last Saturday), I woke up early in the morning to clean up the house because it was my mother's b-day and I wanted to make her a surprize. Went outside to the yard to check my pets and cover the cages because of the heat and found Scabbers and Muffin dead inside their house. Just like that, they just died, they had water, food and I had seen them wandering around the previous night. When I saw them I thought they were sleeping, but when I opened the cage they did not move, I realized that they were gone. I searched far and wide the whole country to get pet rats and they just passed away like this. And no, they were not old, they were only 1.

To add to all this, the worst thing happened yesterday, Sunday. Link had been acting weird lately and I brought her inside because I thought she was lacking attention and now I had plenty of it to give to her. Firstly she was alright but on Sunday she was just static. She just stood at the end of her cage and made no move. When I checked again, she had fallen and was lying on the bottom of the cage. I picked her up and just watched as her life faded. And what's worse is that, even though I wanted to take her to the vet THERE ARE NO FUCKING VETS WORKING ON SUNDAYS! WHY? Why do human hospitals stay open all week and not vets? I just watched helpless, she didn't move, she didn't react, she just laid on my lap while I stroke her head. After some time she started flapping her wings and pulling her head backwards, I held her on my hand and a few seconds later, she stopped and did not breathe again. God, she just died on my hands and I couldn't do a thing!
In less than 2 days I lost 3 of my closest pets, those I loved most. My dear parrot, I miss her so much. I won't ever hear her whistling in the morning again.

Today I woke up, went outside and out of the 3 cages only one stood there, that's Blue's cage, my parakeet and I don't know if he'll survive without Link's company, they got along so well and it is because of him that we discovered that Link probably wasn't a male but a female. She also seemed to like men better than women, I was the only girl she'd let come close and the person she was most attatched to.
Why did this all had to happen now? Link was only about 3, she still had so much time. I'd rather that she ran away like Hissi did instead of dying like this... What's next? Manic? Aika? Or Maddox? Who btw has been acting weird again, I'm thinking all that fatness isn't just fat. I simply have no luck with my pets...

I'll try to upload some stuff soon(gift art that is), but after that, don't expect to see me around. I need time for me, I feel suffocated with all these happenings and with exams coming next week. The contest's still going though, the deadline will be around the middle of July.
It'd be great if I got hit by a car, I hate this life...

~Joana

Stuff to do:
(1st star: sketch 2nd: background coloring 3rd: char/s coloring)

Gift Art/Contest Entries/Requests/etc.:
*Libertad for *leadmare:
*Isis for ~LiLBlueHorse516:
*Bleed for *Bleedv: Have to start all over again.
*Secret gift:
*Entry for *SilverFlameWanderer's contest: (July 15th)
*Entry for *Aryenne's contest: (June/July)
*Entry for *kittytiuri's contest: (31st July)
*5000 page views kiriban prize for *fantasydreamer24:
Personal works:
*"Sinking":
*"... Dreams That Ended":
*"All Blame On Me":
*Canvas Painting of Órfeu, Horizonte and Jaqueta:
*Colored pencil work of Jaqueta, Horizonte and Órfeu:
*"This Is Perfection":
*Unnamed for now:
And way more...

Edit: I forgot, for those who submitted entries to my contest and haven't gotten any reply, don't worry, I just don't have time to comment now but I've seen them all and I'll them to the list as soon as possible!

For the 21303749820659th time, I'm not dead. I know it seems like it but I'm not! See? *slams head on keyboard* It hurts, so I'm definitely alive!

Just updating, this is something quick.
Things have been normal, riding's been awesome and I haven't had time for drawing or any other stuff cause exams are coming and I still have some tests and stuff.

For some odd reason lots of old(like 6 month old) devs that were in my devbox disappeared! I dunno if it's because they were there for too long or something so if I don't comment on any of your "older" works, it's NOT on purpose! I'll check galleries for devs I haven't seen yet, but not now, no time or patience.
(I've 208 messages and 591 devs to look through, I feel awful for letting things pile up like this).

Well that's it for now, more details later, nest time *flies*
I luff you! And cookies to all!
~Joana